Rambling Gambling Reckless Joe
Yo 11, all bets down, pay the do’s and take the don’ts, ring! Ring! 5 of a kind, show down, ante up, to the cash advance window, credit cards growing, back to Gamblers Anonymous. How does one overcome many close brushes with death, two near over doses, total loss of self, vicious reckless addiction to drugs and booze and then turn to gambling for the answer? I guess I liked the action, the adrenaline, a cure for the boredom and loneliness, the bells ringing, and the excitement. Still I wasn’t happy with myself and I was running or escaping from something. That feeling that “I don’t measure up” or “I am not good enough.” I guess lack of self-esteem and self-centeredness was at the core of my addiction. They say you peel the layers of the onion and more will be revealed. Well here is how it happened to me.
My earliest memories involve sitting on my dad’s lap while he was playing poker with other tavern owners. I stacked up his money and quietly watched him. One night I remember a fight breaking out, the table was overturned. I grabbed some 100’s, 50’s and 20’s and stuffed them down my pajamas. A few days later, the nuns called my parents asking why a first grader is carrying over $500.00 dollars. I was a big shot already. We pitched baseball cards and pennies at school and I played Pokeno with my grandma and Aunts at an early age. Then we got a pool table from the bar, I remember gambling and losing $5.00 to $10.00 a bet to a sharp shooting neighbor. I was playing football pools by 4th grade and by 6th grade I figured I could do better by printing my own. By 8th grade I had a paper route and started to be more interested in selling weed, beer, and soon the drugs would come.